My Daily Joke

funny jokes daily

Thanks for stopping by MyDailyJoke.com Have a great day
and grab the RSS feed to stay updated. See you around!

Posts Tagged ‘Life’

What are some quotes like, live laugh love life?

Me and my friends are gonna words on our shirts and we need something sort of like live laugh love life….there is 4 of us but i can take 3 or 4.

Related Joke Blogs

    MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

    What made you laugh the hardest in your entire life?

    Related Joke Blogs

      MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

      Product Description
      These hilarious t-shirts are made of a 100% fully machine washable cotton/poly blend for a cool and comfortable fit every time. They feature insanely funny phrases and pictures. Shocking and bold, stand out at the bar, school or just lounge around the house…. More >>

      Enjoy Life, Eat Out More Often T-shirt, Medium, Black

      Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Half Life 2 Episode Two – Habboi – Part One


        - Half Life 2: Episode Two – Part One Last year I recorded Episode 1 which was my first attempt at recording, editing and uploading on YouTube. After getting a new PC I thought that it was not able to record the game sound however it would seem that the latest version of FRAPS creates or finds a new sound driver called Vista. So I can now record again! I will be starting with Portal and then moving on to HL2: EP2. Although there are many uploaded play-throughs already on YouTube I try to put the viewer in mind while playing by turning slowly and focusing on important things. My apologies for the tiny lag…This is because Source Recorder doesn’t work when a point_camera entity is used. (Valve use these to make the introduction cutscenes) I had to connect two separate recordings at the start and that was the best I could get with it. Secondly you may have noticed my hand was different. This will no longer be in future videos. I was using a custom hand for my modification and forgot to remove it. Lastly the Gnome is an achievement in EP2 where you have to carry it all the way to the end of the game which isn’t an easy task!! You then place it in the rocket and close the door (many forget this) and the achievement is yours! I made a joke of it by pretending to take it with me but then I shot it into the distance… PS After trying out the HD hack I found hardly anyone had the speeds to watch them without pausing every five seconds…So I will be using normal uploading. Enjoy

        Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Funny Questions About Life – Part 2

        Back by popular demand, and because if I watch one more reality show I’m going to combust, I bring you, More funny questions About Life. Yes, it’s time once again to pretend you’re working while reading these idiotic, questions that have virtually no purpose or redeeming value what so ever. The good news however, is that they contain absolutely no trans fats and are loaded with vitamin B12. Ready? Here we go!

        Funny – humorous – mildly amusing Questions 1: What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? How do deer know to cross at that yellow deer crossing sign? If a cow could laugh, would milk come out of it’s nose? When French people swear, do they say, “pardon my English”?

        Comical – weird – witless Questions 2: How fast do hot cakes really sell? Why is the word abbreviation such a long word? How much deeper would the ocean be if there were no sponges in it? Do fish get cramps after eating?

        Ridiculous – zany – laughable Questions 3: Why do they call those small candy bars ‘fun size”? Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a large one? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the slowest time of the day for traffic called rush hour? If stocks go down any further shouldn’t they change the name from Wall Street to Wall Mart Street?

        Even more funny – giggle proof – joke filled Questions 4: Why do banks chain down the pens but keep the doors unlocked? Pineapple. No pine, no apples. What’s up with that? Why do drive up ATM machines have braille number pads? If you eat pasta and then eat anti-pasta, will you still be hungry?

        Wry – slapstick – side splitting Questions 5: Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Why could the Mission Impossible people always solve the mission? Why do they report power outages on TV?

        Zany – laughable – toungue-in-cheek Questions 6: Is there another word for thesaurus? Why is lemon juice made with artificial ingredients while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why do some water bottles have ingredients listed on them? Why do they put a post office box outside a post office if you’re already there?

        Even more funny – ridiculous – nonsensical Questions 7: Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? Who shuts the bus door when the bus driver gets off? Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every two hours? Why do bags of nuts have “may contain nuts” printed on them?

        Now some of these you may have heard before and some may be brand new. But no matter what your opinion might be, that was about three minutes of your life you’ll never get back. Still, I hope you enjoyed More Funny Questions Of Life. Look for Part Three coming to an internet near you. For more entertainment, please re-read, laugh, and repeat. That’s it for now. I’m not kidding. Really. Elvis has left the building.

        Halacious is an award winning copywriter, author, and proud co-owner of http://www.kiddiekort.com

        For even more Funny Questions About Life, go to: http://funny-questions.blogspot.com


        Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Louis Wain 1860-1939 Life Story and Funny Animal Art

        Louis William Wain was born in the London district of Clerkenwell in London on 5th. August 1860 and in his early years was interested in music, authorship, chemistry and art. Music was his first career choice but he was not sufficiently dedicated and turned to the world of art as an alternative.

        In his early years he was a sickly child and often skipped school. He attended his early schooling at The Orchard Street Foundation school in Hackney and at The Saint Joseph’s Academy, Kennington.

        Wain was born with a Cleft Lip and the doctor gave his parents the orders that he should not be sent to school or taught until he was ten years old. As a teenage youth, he was often truant from school, and spent much of his childhood wandering around London. Following this period, Louis studied at the West London School of Art and eventually became a teacher for a short period. At the age of 20, Wain was left to support his mother and sisters after his father’s death.

        With reference to his family, Louis Wain’s father had moved to London from Leek in Staffordshire where he met Julie Felice Boiteux (Anglo-French) who attended the same Roman Catholic church. They married in 1859. He had 5 younger sisters (two of whom became competent artists) and his father worked as a textile salesman and his mother designed Church fabrics and carpets.

        At the age of 17 he attempted to become a musician though no evidence of any success exists today. Louis Wain then decided to study and trained at The West London School of Art ( 1877- 1882 ) and remained as an assistant teacher until he left in 1882.

        After his Father – William Wain’s death in 1880 he had to support his mother – Julie Wain and five younger sisters.

        To help to support his family he became a freelance illustrator ( initially influenced by Caldecott and May ).

        He began to make his name with Dog and Animal drawings at various Dog and Country Shows including the early British National Dog show at Crystal palace in 1882 ( which later became known as Crufts ).

        In 1884 Louis Wain married Emily Richardson ( His youngest sister’s governess ). Shortly after he married her she contracted Breast cancer. He brought Emily a Kitten which they called Peter and to entertain her he started drawing Peter in humorous situations and poses.

        She wanted him to show his cat drawings to some editors to which some comments were – ‘whoever would want to see a picture of a cat.’

        The break he had been waiting for came in 1886 when he drew several kitten illustrations for a children’s book. After this, Sir William Ingram, Proprietor of the Illustrated London News, commissioned a narrative drawing of a ‘Kitten’s Christmas Party’. It contained 200 cats, took 11 days to complete and according to Wain brought him ‘overnight fame.’ With the success of his funny cat pictures they started to make his reputation here in Britain and in America where his humorous cat pictures were seen in Comics, newspapers and magazines. These pictures were so successful that his life would never be the same again. Alas, this was tinged with sadness as his wife died shortly afterwards, but knowing that Louis Wain had become a great success.

        In the period from 1880′s up to the start of the first world war he ruled supreme in cat and animal humour especially the ‘Louis Wain Cat’ which was recognised worldwide. The Louis Wain cats appeared in Art Prints, Comics, Newspapers, Books, Magazines, Post Cards and Annuals. The Wain cats are to be found in every human activity – from playing golf and other sports, digging up roads, Playing music, Ascot fashions, Driving cats plus lots more.

        In 1886 he joined the staff of The Illustrated London News. He was the first illustrator to work consistently within the convention of depicting clothed and standing animals.

        He contributed to “Comical Customers at our Fine New Store of Comical Rhymes and Pictures” in 1896 and to “Jingles. Jokes and Funny Folks” in 1898. 1902 saw the word “Catland” commonly associated with Wain’s illustrations, and the publication of “Pa Cats, Ma Cats and their Kittens.”
        His anthropomorphic vision of the world soon brought him fame and as a result he was elected President of the British National Cat Club in 1898 and 1911.

        In 1904 Louis Wain wrote a book entitled ‘In Animal land with Louis Wain’ which was a great success. During 1907 he invested all his savings into various Ceramic’s with pictures based on his funny cats and sent most of them to America. Alas, while crossing the Atlantic, the ship capsized and all Louis Wain ceramics went to the bottom of the sea. Due to this misfortune Louis Wain went bankrupt and decided on a temporary move to the United States. He produced strip cartoons for the New York American ( 1907-1910 ) and many other American comics, newspapers and magazines.

        After the death of his mother, In 1910, he returned to England and over the next few years he continued to produce books and supply pictures to various comics, newspapers and magazines.

        He continued drawing fanciful cats for various newspapers and comics near the end of the first world war. During this time in 1917 he was thinking of experimenting in animation and the film was to be called ‘Pussyfoot’. Alas, he decided not to persue this project and so the world lost the chance of a genius of comic cat art moving into animation. This year was a turning point in the history of Louis Wain’s cats. His sister Caroline died and he fell off an Omnibus and hit his head.

        After he recovered from these set backs his cats became more frenzied, surreal, jagged and pointy. During 1917 he was also diagnosed as a schizophrenic which alas, stayed with him for the rest of his life. During the onset of his disease at 57, Wain continued to Paint, Draw and Sketch cats.

        In 1924 due to the economic climate and the slow recovery of GB after WW1 Louis Wain Art became less popular and he fell into poverty when his mental health deteriorated and finally his family had him certified Insane and he was committed to a pauper ward at Springfield Hospital ( Previously Surrey County Asylum ) at Tooting, London on June 16th 1924. During 1925 he was discovered by a visitor to the hospital painting his funny cat pictures. The visitor exclaimed that the artist pictures reminded him of Louis Wain’s famous cats. Imagine his surprise when the Artist turned to the visitor and exclaimed he was indeed Louis Wain.  After the visitor told the world of Louis Wain’s hospitalization, his admirers started a campaign which included prime minister Ramsey Macdonald, HG Wells and King George who helped set up a foundation which was set up to enable Wain to spend the last few years of his life in comfort in private asylums including Bethlehem Hospital in a private room where his treatment continued. H. G. Wells best portrays Louis Wain when he said in a 1925 broadcast, in an attempt to raise money for the impoverished artist, that three generations had been brought up on Louis Wain’s cats and few nurseries were without his pictures. He made the cat his own. He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world. English cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.

        Some time in the late 1920′s he was sent to Saint James  Fields, Southwark where he continued to paint and draw his cats.

        In 1930 he was transferred to Napsbury Hospital near Saint Albans where he continued to paint and sketch until the end of his days. Exhibitions of his work were held in London in 1931 and 1937. On 4th. July Louis Wain died at Napsbury hospital. He is buried at Saint Mary’s Catholic Cemetery, Harrow Road, London NW10 ( next to Kensal Green Cemetery, London ) next to the same burial plots as his 5 sisters and parents.

        He is probably best remembered through a quote from H.G. Wells “He has made the cat his own. He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world. English cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.”

        Louis often gave lectures on the welfare of cats and encouraged people to take in stray cats, not just purebred cats. He was elected as President and Chairman of the National Cat Club, which he served for many years, and the logo he designed for the National Cat Club is still used to this very day. He was also involved in many other animal (mainly cat) charities and groups.

        I am a collector and seller of Louis Wain 1860-1939  Funny Cats, Birds, Pigs, Owls and Dogs on Art prints, so please feel free to visit my Louis Wain website pages listed below.

        http://www.fabprints.com/LW.html

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Life of Brian – Bigus Dickus


        The scene where the guards laugh their a** off infront of Pilate.

        Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Slice Of Life


        Nothing says wacky kitchen antics like spilled flour. When Jo forms a pizza business, the standard spilled hilarity occurs. Demand overtakes supply, and business is crazy. Just look at all the flour! Crazy! It’s just like when we make Minisodes! Watch hundreds of free full-length streaming movies and TV shows on www.crackle.com TWITTER twitter.com TAGS: watch free streaming television tv video minisode Facts of Life Tootie Jo Blair Natalie sitcom business school mrs. garrett what buck food mess Lisa Whelchel Kim Fields Mindy Cohn Nancy McKeon Charlotte Rae funny video classic TV Television

        Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Funny Questions About Life – Part 3

        The auto industry, big banks, global warming… these are just some of the things NOT discussed in my latest entry of funny questions About Life – Part 3. Truth is, I feel it’s my mission to ignore these dubious questions of life and follow my true destiny which means pondering life’s unanswerable, yet funny questions. Ready? Let’s hit it!

        Funny Questions – Group 1

        They make bullet proof vests, so why not bullet proof pants?

        Why do dollar stores bother to advertise their prices?

        If a cow is pampered do they produce spoiled milk?

        Funny Questions – Group 2:

        How do deer know to cross at the yellow deer crossing sign?

        How can a product be advertised as both new and improved?

        If all you have in your pocket is loose change does that mean your money is tight?

        How can love be so blind but marriage such an eye opener?

        Why are small candy bars called, ‘fun size”? Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a large one?

        If a man’s home is his castle, why is my closet filled with my wife’s 70 pair of black high heels?

        Is possible for fat people to go skinny dipping?

        When sheep rub up against each other, do they produce static cling?

        Funny Questions – Group 3:

        Pizzas are round, so what’s with the square box?

        Do woodpeckers ever get migranes?

        If feathers tickle people, why don’t birds laugh all the time?

        If Superman is so darn super, why is he wearing his underwear outside his tights?

        What is the purpose of the expiration date on sour cream?

        When you call into customer service they say, “This call may be recorded for quality purposes,” how come the quality never improves?

        Why are there drive up windows for liquor stores when you can’t drink and drive?

        Are Lipton Tea employees allowed coffee breaks?

        Funny Questions – Group 4:

        How is it possible for there to be self help groups?

        Why are croutons packed in air tight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread?

        If you’re reading while on the toilet does this mean you’re multitasking?

        Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions?

        Funny  Questions Group 5:

        When growing up I always heard that the truth will set you free, so why was I always sent to my room?

        How do you know when sour cream has gone bad?

        Whose the cruel person that decided nose job surgery should be called rhinoplasty?

        How come you have to drive slow and obey traffic signals your whole life, but when you die, they let the cars run through red lights? What’s the hurry?

        Oh yes, there’s a ton more. Most of them rehashed, recycled and ridiculous, but what do you want for free? What’s funnier are the people who attempt to seriously answer them. So stay tuned for part 4 as I comb the recesses of my mind… which should take about a minute, and thanks for wasting a few moments of your life with Funny Questions About Life!

        Halacious is an award winning copywriter, author, and proud co-owner of http://www.kiddiekort.com To reach him and read more mindless questions, go to http://funny-questions.blogspot.com


        Related Joke Blogs

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often

        Funny T Shirts for Your Every Day Life

        Have you ever become distraught due to your daily stressful routine? Did you get a hangover from too much of everything? Perhaps you have a very hectic schedule that prevents you from enjoying the nice things about your life. Unfortunately, with the vagaries of the modern world, most people don’t take the time to look around and appreciate every moment of our life. In fact, most people don’t realize that every day of our life is a special gift and we should get the fun out of everything that we do in life. One way to do that would be by wearing funny t shirts.

        As you know, funny t shirts are special t shirts with special and funny expressions or cartoon imprinted on them. There is just no limit on the funny expression or the cartoon that can be etched on to your funny t shirt. For example, if you are fond of the Simpsons, then you may opt to just have a drawing about the Simpsons or you can even have a drawing about Ninja Turtles or any of your favorite characters. You can also wear funny t shirts that make fun about politics, the president or about legislation in general. Or you can wear funny t shirts that portray life as a one big and huge satire comedy.

        No matter which kind of funny t shirt that you may choose, you are sure to have the best possible way to express yourself. Especially in the United States, you are protected by the Bill of Rights and thus you can wear any type of t shirt no matter how controversial. Of course, you should never forget that the most important part is to have the fun of life with these funny t shirts.

        There are many different avenues open to you for you to buy these t shirts. Especially, if you go online, you will be able to choose from hundreds or maybe thousands of different t shirt designs that may suit your personality. Of course, you should also think about the fact that you will need to buy a quality product in order to make sure that you get the best possible product. You would not want your funny t shirt to fade out after it is washed for one or two cycles. Nor you would want your funny t shirt to get torn on the first day that you wear it. Hence, make sure that the t shirt that you buy comes with a quality guarantee as you would be able to change it, if something goes wrong. In addition, your funny t shirts should be very comfortable to wear so that you can wear it for a full day under the sun without any problems. In any case, when you buy a funny t shirt that you like, you will be able to enjoy yourself in life and you will be able to have fun at every moment while you wear your t shirt.

        There are many different avenues open to you for you to buy these t shirts. Especially, if you go online, you will be able to choose from hundreds or maybe thousands of different t shirt designs that may suit your personality. Of course, you should also think about the fact that you will need to buy a quality product in order to make sure that you get the best possible product. You would not want your funny t shirt to fade out after it is washed for one or two cycles. Nor you would want your funny t shirt to get torn on the first day that you wear it. Hence, make sure that the t shirt that you buy comes with a quality guarantee as you would be able to change it, if something goes wrong. In addition, your funny t shirts should be very comfortable to wear so that you can wear it for a full day under the sun without any problems. In any case, when you buy a funny t shirts that you like, you will be able to enjoy yourself in life and you will be able to have fun at every moment while you wear your t shirt.

        MyDailyJoke.com wishes you a happy and healthy day. Please bookmark us and come back often