What did the turkey say before Thanksgiving dinner?

My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.

What did the bird's mom say when he talked just like his dad?

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Where do lawyers go for summer vacation?

Why did the mirror cross the road?

Why did the woman get mad at her husband when she asked him to pick up six cans of Sprite®?

What did the family of cattle rent to drive across the country?

Which football team has the coolest helmets?

What's a pogo stick's favorite season?

Why was the spider so smart?

What's the best thing to put into a pie?

What is a Christian's favorite workout plan?

What song does God sing when he wants a white Christmas?