What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

Do the mascara and lipstick ever argue?

What happened to the dancer at Seafood Disco?

Which computer won the talent show?

Why did someone ask the baseball player to punch them?

What is a mailman's favorite herb?

What is time's favorite breed of dog?

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

What do dogs always eat for their birthday dinner?

Why do trees hate going to school?

Why do airplanes make bad spouses?

Why is Michael Phelps never late?

Why shouldn't you iron a four-leaf clover?

What do you call it when a hen spots some lettuce?

How does a lion greet other animals?