My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.

What did the skeleton order at the bar?

How does a chick bake a cake for Easter?

What animal cheers the loudest at sports games?

What is red, orange, and yellow and doesn't get hurt when it falls?

Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

What did the hostess name her daughter?

What do actors and people who leave voicemails have in common?

My dad told me a joke about boxing.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

Why was the horse so bad at dressage?

Why do track athletes never give up on anything?

What animal always goes to heaven?

Did you hear about the power outlet who got into a fight with a power cord?

When is a baseball player like a thief?