Why hasn't the North Pole ever won a war?

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor & Gamble?

Why are sandals so indecisive?

Why did the pig stop sunbathing?

What do you call a fish wearing a tux?

How did the coach get his quarterback?

What cocktail will give you a black eye?

Which candy bar can't stop laughing?

What did one pickle say to the other when it didn't get its way?

Why are cows bad at telling jokes?

Why did the cat go to medical school?

Why did the cake strike out in baseball?

How did the Vikings send secret messages?

What do elderly dogs use to get around?

How are toddlers and those who attempted to build a tower to heaven similar?