Why do vampires make terrible police officers?

Why don't they have dime stores anymore?

What's the only career where you can never sit down?

Why couldn't the First Lady make the President do chores?

What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?

How did the tree feel in spring?

Why do dogs always have stomach aches?

Why do fish live in salt water?

What's the name of the winner of the chicken-eating contest?

What car is the perfect size for mice?

Why does a bottle of wine make the perfect Father's Day gift?

What do you call it when someone asks for their coworker's hand in marriage?

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

Why can you never find the number nine?

How do snowmen get information?