How do baseball players always stay cool?

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

What's the slowest 5k?

Why are ghosts always single?

What's a candy bar's favorite Christmas carol?

Why did the cell phone lose his job?

What was Jackie Kennedy's response to everything?

Which Count makes the best pie crust?

Why does the priest love swiss cheese?

Where does water do all its banking?

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

Where do hands go on vacation?

What do you say when you see someone after midnight on New Year's Day?

What did summer say to spring?

What did Santa bring the naughty soccer player?