Why shouldn't you buy anything with velcro?

What did one gambler say to another on their anniversary?

My friend David had his ID stolen.

Where do crackers stay when they're on vacation?

Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom?

Where does a pianist go on vacation?

What's E.T. short for?

What's both a number one hit and a total failure?

What's a princess's favorite fast-food restaurant?

Why can't Christmas trees sew?

What do you say when you see someone after midnight on New Year's Day?

What did Polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

What kind of motor vehicle is in the Bible?

What song does Tarzan™ sing at Christmas?

Why are lawyers so fast at writing?