What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

Why did the pumpkin give up acting?

Why is a banana the most popular fruit?

What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Where does a scientist wizard work?

Which dog belongs in a band?

Why was the goldfish suspected of murder?

Why are skunks always so depressed?

Where does a pianist go on vacation?

Why couldn't the spring flower ride its bike?

What is a sheep's favorite game?

What do dads love to eat after dinner?

What's the most athletic footwear?

What did the doctor say when the nurse told him the invisible man was there?