To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

What did the calf play in the school band?

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

Which forest animal loves to eat Lay's®?

Which yearbook superlative did the dog win?

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Why do lawyers always go to Japanese restaurants?

What's a fun hobby for an accountant?

What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night?

What do you call a hotdog at Halloween?

What animal has 20/20 vision?

Who is God's favorite superhero?

What was so bad about the Fourth of July picnic?

When's the best time to wash your Slinky®?

Why did Harry Potter™ suddenly go bald in his teens?